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Tracklist
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| 1 | Put My Head Through A TV And Watch Me | 1:16 |
| 2 | Have The World's Hottest And Horniest Girls Lay Naked Covered In Money And Set Up Landmines Around Them So That I Step On One When Running Over There | 1:31 |
| 3 | Gag Me With A Spoon Until I Hurl Up My Internal Organs | 0:14 |
| 4 | Play An Atypical Game Of Pin The Tail On The Donkey Blindfolded, And I'm The Donkey! | 1:34 |
| 5 | Put An Awesome CD On So That I Headbang So Hard My Head Snaps Off My Neck Like A Pencil | 2:08 |
| 6 | Put Me In Prison So That When I Try To Escape I Get Caught In The Guard Tower's Spotlight And They Shoot Me | 0:47 |
| 7 | Decapitate Me With A Gnarly Battle Axe | 1:03 |
| 8 | Take Me To A Racidal Concert, When I Stagedive Everyone Will Move Out Of The Way. Also, There Just Happens To Be Spikes Set Up On The Floor In That Exact Spot | 0:49 |
| 9 | Tell God How Bogus Or Mental I Think He Is So That He Smites Me With Lightning | 0:25 |
| 10 | Tell The Devil How Excellent I Think He Is So That He Strikes Me With Lightning | 0:17 |
| 11 | Set Up Spikes On The Sidewalk, My Hair Is So Long That I'll Trip Over It And Land On The Spikes | 0:58 |
| 12 | Cut Down A Jumbo Redwood Tree Right Next To Me | 1:18 |
| 13 | Bring Me To A Barber Shop Where The Dude Is Drunk So That His Hand Slips And Cuts My Head Off | 1:30 |
| 14 | Throw A Banana Peel On The Floor At The Foot Court In The Mall So That I Slip On It While Trying To Roller Skate, Upon Impact My Skull Shatters Like Glass | 1:30 |
| 15 | Put Me In An Arcade Game So I Get Chased By An 8-Bit Ninja | 0:52 |
| 16 | Put Me In A Gnarly Spaceship And Send Me To Planet Kron von So I Get Attacked By Dorkords And Gluegords | 1:25 |
| 17 | Slit My Vein; It's Tubular | 0:39 |
| 18 | Tell Some Bodaciously Busty Babes To Stand On The Other Side Of The Road So That I'm Distracted While Crossing And Some Dillhole In A Van Runs Me Over Turning Me Into A Human Pancake | 2:34 |
| 19 | Bring Me To A Momentous Party Lurking With Creeps So When I'm Not Looking Someone Shoots Aids-Infested Dickwad Into My Beverage | 1:22 |
| 20 | Wedge A Detonation Devide That Explodes Upon Semen-Contact Up My Buttocks And Then Cross-Dress Me So That Some Dude Thinks I'm A Dudette And Tries To Take Me On A Date | 1:30 |
| 21 | Lace My Scrumptious Soda Pop With Arsenic | 0:25 |
| 22 | Lace The Highschool Pizza With Mega-Toxic Waste So That My Teachers And Classmates Become Space-Mutants Hellbent On Canceling The Return Of Christ By Eating My Brain | 1:57 |
| 23 | Print Me Into Money | 0:50 |
| 24 | Loosen The Screws On My Skateboard So That The Wheels Break Off Causing Me To Fall And Smear My Face Onto The Road Only To Be Licked Up By Dogs | 0:41 |
| 25 | Give Me Heroin | 2:11 |
| 26 | Mutilate My Guts With A Majestic Chainsaw Of Fury | 0:52 |
| 27 | Put A 50 Ways Album On The Turntable And Crank It So Loud That My Eyes Bug Out And My Mental Brain Bursts Into Gore That Resembles Confetti Laced With Spaghetti | 0:56 |
| 28 | Put Me In A Cannon And Shoot Me Into A Brick Wall | 0:56 |
| 29 | Churn Me Into Cream | 2:30 |
| 30 | Frame Me For Murder So That I'm Forced To Sit In An Electric Chair That Will Make Me Into A Black Skeleton With Spiky Hair | 0:17 |
| 31 | Blast My Brains And Face Onto The Wall With A Double Barrel Shotgun Of Doom | 0:58 |
| 32 | Cover Every Inch Of My Heinous Body With Nicotine Patches | 1:00 |
| 33 | Cover Every Inch Of My Heinous Body With Leeches | 1:08 |
| 34 | Convince A Horse To Date Rape Me So That When I Give Birth Out My Anus And It Comes Out As A Centaur, I Have A Heart Attack | 2:00 |
| 35 | Dress Me Up Like A Cow So That When Cowboys Brand The 50 Ways Grave-and-Thumbs-Up Logo On Me It Burns So Bad That I Pass Away And Enter Heaven | 0:58 |
| 36 | Feed Me To 130 Starving Cats | 1:16 |
| 37 | Catch Me In Your Store's Dumpster Seeking Fresh Trash To Eat, Get Offended By It, And Turn On The Trash Compactor | 0:26 |
| 38 | Hand Me My Guitar So I Shred Riffs Of Devastation, Causing Volcanic Eruptions And Lightning To Strike Me Down With Grim Force More Deadly Than The Lightning Described In Tracks 9 And 10 | 0:41 |
| 39 | Build Me A Car With A Keyboard And Mouse Instead Of A Steering Wheel So That I Drive Through A Carpal Tunnel | 1:41 |
| 40 | Put Dynamite Sticks In My Birthda | |
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Note
Tracklisting is supplied by a third party and matched by catalogue number. Tracks on the release may differ from what is being sold.
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