like you. NOTE: IN MANY STATES THE SIMPLE POSSESSION OF AN OPENED CAN OF BEER BY A MINOR CAN RESULT IN SIX MONTHS' IMPRISONMENT, A FINE NOT TO EXCEED $500, OR BOTH.

Funny thing, though, because just before finals last year there was some mighty heavy shit going down. Man, some of those skinny hippie kids in Miss Sondstrom's Humanities class were acting like the revolution had come or some shit.

Well, you know. We thought it had.

Hey, Billy. How are ya? Whadja do this summer?

Oh, you know, the usual shit.

Go to any rock festivals?

Yeah. I went to a bunch. The one I really dug was Goose Lake—man, that was outtasite. NOTE: THE GOOSE LAKE FESTIVAL WAS AN EXPERIMENT IN FESTIVAL PLANNING, AND WAS ENVISIONED AS A "PERMANENT FESTIVAL AREA." THE GROUNDS WERE SURROUNDED BY ELECTRIFIED CYCLONE FENCING, A MAP OF THE AREA, ALREADY LAID OUT WITH PATHS WITH NAMES RESEMBLING "HASHISH HIGHWAY," ET AL, APPEARED IN THE OFFICIAL PROGRAM. PROBLEMS WITH GATE-CRASHERS WERE MINIMAL, AND MANY DRUGS WERE SOLD QUITE OPENLY.

Wow, didja get any of those naked girls? Hey, lookit him blush. (Maybe I should go to one of those festivals.)

Yeah, but I bet he was too fucked-up on LSD to be able to get it up.

Aw, fuck you guys anyway. I got things to do, See ya in study hall, NOTE: A RECENT MICRO-ANALYSIS RUN ON A TABLET OF ALLEGED "CALIFORNIA SUNSHINE" LSD YIELDED THE FOLOWING SUBSTANCES; METHEDRINE, SEVERAL MESCALINE COMPOUNDS, ARSENIC, STRYCHNINE, ATROPINE, MERCURY, AND TRACES OF MESCALINE.

* * *

"This record is 14 years ahead of its time," say the Columbia ads for the Firesign Theatre's latest epic creation. It's a cute headline for an ad—for you slower people out there, 1970 plus 14 equals.... Yeah, it took me a while to catch on, too, But nice as the slogan is, I think I disagree. Because if you take fourteen years to get what it's saying (no matter how long those fourteen years may take), it's too late. In fact, there are many here among us who think that it's already too late, although I'm not one of them. But this record will send you coasting on gales of laughter to a very unpleasant realization: time is running out.

The secret message of the Firesign's last album was that the United States had lost its gigantic war against fascism, the one the history books have come to call World War II. The point was nev